


Sapphire and Pearls

by HyperKid



Series: Fluff Your Firbolgs You Fucking Cowards [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Cuddle Pile, Fluff, Multi, Nonsexual group nudity, Nott the Stylist, Other, Touch hungry Caduceus, flowers for everyone, soft, warning: Fjord’s self esteem issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26888818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid
Summary: There’s some little home comforts you just can’t get on the sea. The Lavish Chateau has all of them, and Jester’s intent on getting them all for her friends.Fjord has trouble believing he deserves them.
Relationships: Beau/Yasha/Jester/Caleb/Fjord/Caduceus, Polynein
Series: Fluff Your Firbolgs You Fucking Cowards [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872814
Comments: 16
Kudos: 109





	Sapphire and Pearls

**Author's Note:**

> HK: Hey fun twist! Today it’s Fjord’s self loathing not Caleb’s!  
> Mollymauk: You don’t do his perspective a lot.  
> HK: That’d be because Travis loves pissing me off.  
> Mollymauk: Which is funny since you’re both chaos gremlins.  
> HK: I know right??? And our taste in music is fucking 100% copacetic, his playlists are bangers.  
> Mollymauk: You’re too much alike maybe?  
> HK: It’s possible, but honestly we only butt heads around Jester. I’m always down for that good good chaos.  
> Mollymauk: Some things never change. 
> 
> WARNINGS!! Flashes of Fjord’s deeply shitty self esteem and Caduceus avoiding his issues because that’s how he do 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing and can prove this by the fact that Caduceus hasn’t been fluffed in canon

The first night they were back on land, Jester had some very specific ideas about how to spend it. They would of course be staying at the Lavish Chateau; it would take someone very brave, and with absolutely no sense of self preservation to suggest otherwise. 

And Caleb was still a little too quiet to argue with her about anything. That was worrying, but she hoped that her plan might be able to fix that a little. 

When they arrived at the inn she disappeared into her mother’s arms, breathing in that soft, familiar scent. It was a little strange to realize how long it had been since she smelled her mother’s perfume. Even having it with her, she hadn’t reached for the little bottle in days. 

Marian Lavorre knew exactly how to read a room. She could see the changes in their group dynamic, little lines of stress and tension. When her daughter asked for the pearl room, both her brows went up. 

“Will you be needing company?” She asked almost uncertainly, not sure how deeply she wanted to delve into this one. Jester was certainly old enough to have a... private life. 

The young tiefling shook her head happily, wrapping her arms tighter around her mother. 

“No, no one else. Just the pearl room and maybe some snacks and oh! If you’re singing tonight we would really like to see it?” She was bouncing just a little, the culmination of her plans bringing back a proper good mood. 

It was a bit of a relief for the others to see, even with the slightly daunting prospect of a special room at the Lavish Chateau. 

“What’s the pearl room?” Beau asked cautiously, sidling closer to the two women. Marian opened her mouth to answer, but Jester cut in before she could. 

“It’s a special surprise! I can’t wait for you all to see it!” Her tail curled happily through the air behind her, excited to show her friends more of the house she had grown up in. Excited that she had a solution, a plan, a way to fix what had gone so wrong. 

Beau didn’t seem particularly reassured, but she stopped asking. Later on, while they were all wondering when the hell this mystery room will come into play, Fjord offered to pay for rooms for the night. 

With a quick glance and fleeting smile at her daughter, Marian refused. 

Questions intensified. 

Finally after dinner, Jester bounced up from the table, her tail twitching excitedly behind her. 

“Come on you guys! I can’t wait to show you!” 

“You’ve waited all day,” Beau teased, rising beside her eagerly. Jester giggled and stuck her tongue out at her friend. 

“And now I can’t wait anymore! Come on, come on, hurry up!” She paused to tug at Fjord’s elbow to hurry him along. The half orc grinned back, pushing slowly back from the table. 

“Alright, alright, we’re comin’. What’s so special about this room anyway?” 

“You’ll see!” The tiefling chirped happily, gaze darting around the table to make sure that all of her friends were indeed up and moving. They were, and she bounced eagerly to the front once more to lead the way upstairs. 

Behind her, Beau glanced around at the full dining room as they left. 

“Think they’re going to have enough bedrooms for all of us?” She asked somewhat doubtfully, frowning up at the rest of the group. Just ahead of her, Caleb shrugged. 

“If they do not, we can always find another inn in town. We can ask once we are done with this special room.” 

Somewhere in the middle of the group, Nott was beginning to drag her feet looking at the others anxiously. 

“It’s... not going to be a sex thing, is it? Cuz I can always just-“ 

“No!” Jester cut her off from the head of the party, a few steps above and already coming out onto the landing. “No, you have to come too! The pearl room’s for all of us!” But she refused to elaborate further, chivvying the others down the hallway to a large, elaborate door shaped like a curved seashell. 

The handles were made of shimmering mother of pearl, smaller shells in the middle of the design that Jester gripped firmly. The others exchanged slightly worried looks behind her, all with their own ideas of just what this place could hold, and what could possibly be for all of them? 

But then the doors were creaking open, and rather than speculate they only had to step forward to see. 

The pearl room was huge, easily taking up almost half of the top floor. In the center was a truly massive bed, large enough for a dozen enthusiastic people and swathed in a deep blue silk. Jester bounced inside eagerly, waving her hands at the various extra features around the walls. 

“This is the room we use for the really big parties! There’s two toy closets, and some bondage gear, and a whole bunch of different like, outfits and lingerie and stuff! And a massage table with oils, and heated stones,” 

“And handcuffs,” Beau cut in with a snicker, wandering across to the large marble table against one wall. There were indeed a pair of sumptuously padded cuffs at both the head and foot of the table. 

“And handcuffs,” Jester agreed blithely, pausing in the middle of the room to spin slowly and survey what else she could introduce. “There’s a little spa area in the other corner that we could fill with water if you guys want to take a bath too, and a proper table if we want to have a snack or breakfast up here!” 

“And all of this furniture is designed for fucking on?” Nott asked somewhat sceptically as she examined one of the thick chairs. 

Jester looked momentarily confused. 

“Of course. But we don’t have to?” 

Caduceus already had his eye on the raised tiles of the bathing pool, lowering his pack to the floor. 

“This is a great room, Jester,” he declared, bestowing a warm smile on his fellow cleric. Jester beamed back, her whole body wriggling happily as she ran to catch him by the arm, tugging him towards the bed. 

“You haven’t even seen the best bit yet!” And before he could protest, she shoved him down onto the sheets... which rippled. 

Caduceus very nearly fell straight back off as the whole bed undulated. 

“What... what’s that?” 

“It’s a water bed!” Jester squealed excitedly, leaping down beside him to join him, hands covering the pointed tips of her horns. The mattress bobbed and lurched under her added weight, waves rolling Caduceus over and away. For a moment there was clear panic in the firbolg’s eyes, but as the bed began to settle it melted into laughter. 

“This is... the strangest thing I’ve ever seen!” 

“You’ve seen kind of a lot now,” Caleb pointed out with a wry smile, crossing the room to examine the bed as well. He should have been expecting the blue tail to shoot out and drag him down, but stumbled anyway and toppled over on top of Jester. 

The whole bed swayed as she rolled with him to the middle, laughing, and this time Caduceus let himself be rolled in the opposite direction with a laugh of his own. 

“I really can’t describe it,” he called to the rest of the Nein, pushing himself somewhat laboriously into a sitting position where he could rock with the waves, “you have to come try it.” 

Beau, Yasha, and Fjord remained deeply unconvinced, staring at the mobile bed in varying degrees of scepticism and horror. Nott had absolutely no reservations, dropping her bag and weapons and running to tackle the moving mattress. It swayed less under her attack than it had under the others, and a moment later her head popped up again. 

“This is the kind of water I can tolerate!” 

“The kind not touching you?” Caleb asked with a fond smile, raising an arm from where he’d wound up snuggled to Jester’s side in the middle. Nott crawled enthusiastically over to tuck herself into his side. 

“Exactly!” 

The bed bobbed a little more as Caduceus found his way to the middle, curling his entire body around his three companions and smiling at the others. 

“Are you guys coming?” 

After a long moment Fjord sighed, unbuckling his sword belt and beginning to work his way out of his armour. 

“Gimme a minute.” 

Beau leaned over, unwilling to take her eyes off the constantly swaying bed. 

“You sure, Captain? It looks... fucked.” 

Behind her Yasha snorted a laugh, carefully setting her sword down on the long table. 

“Would you rather wait for Jester to come and carry you onto it?” 

With a moment of extreme clarity, they all knew that was exactly what was coming next if they didn’t come of their own accord. The tiefling was already sitting up to peer at them, fingers pressed to the bed ready to push up and go. 

Beau made a face. 

“Yeah, alright. We can’t pop this thing, right Jes?” 

Seeing her assent, Jester giggled and settled back into the sheets, shaking her head. 

“Not unless you have something like, really sharp! There’s a whole bunch of spells and the whole thing is used to lots and lots of motion!” 

Just what motion she meant couldn’t have been more clear, given the subtle but prominent placing of lube around the room. A wicked grin split Beau’s face and she backed up a few paces, ready to run. 

“You better be right!” And then she charged. She wasn’t the heaviest of the group, not by a long shot, but the speed and momentum meant that when she hit she sent a wave nearly as big as the one Jester had made tossing Caduceus down. The four in the middle bucked with it, tumbled together and shifted forcibly a few feet over in a cloud of startled laughter. 

Beau fought her way across the rapidly bucking bed like she was climbing a mountain to settle herself triumphantly in the middle as the waves settled. 

“That was great!” 

A faint smile tugged across Yasha’s lips and she glanced quizzically at Fjord, still unbuckling his breast plate. The half orc waved her on, grinning. 

“Go on ahead, I’ll catch up when I’m out of this lot. Got the feelin’ it’ll only be in the way.” 

Taking him at his word, Yasha nodded and crossed rather more cautiously than Beau had. She prodded the bed a few times before trusting her weight to it, not knowing quite what to make of the yielding mass. 

Jester crawled to meet her, giggling merrily, and leaned up for a quick kiss. 

“It’s perfectly safe, Yasha, I promise! Look!” Taking the aasimar by the wrists, she guided her to hands and knees on the bed. Yasha followed gladly, pressing close for another kiss before beginning to crawl with exaggerated caution towards the others. 

Beau and Nott exchanged looks of complete understanding. Then Beau sighed and dragged the goblin girl into a headlock. 

“No, we are not going to set the thing bouncing and see if we can tip her over.” 

“Hey!” Nott protested, flailing and pushing with both hands at the monk’s brown arm, causing a fair bit of sloshing already, “I never said I would! You were thinking it!” 

“Yeah, that’s how I know you were too!” 

“You can’t prove it!” 

Jester paused at the end of the bed, cocking her head to watch Fjord. 

“Do you need any help?” She called, hovering between rejoining the others and going to him. Fjord shook his head quickly, fighting with one of the buckles. Sea salt had swelled the leather a little, making it stiff. 

“‘M fine. You go on ahead, I’ll be right there.” 

Rolling her eyes, Jester blew her bangs back off her face and rolled elegantly off the bed, skipping over to come and take the buckle in hand. Fjord tried to tell himself it was her slimmer fingers that meant she could get a better grip on the strap, but the yank she gave to free it had him almost toppling over. 

“You’re allowed to ask for help you know,” she chided, freeing the other straps easily and helping lift the breastplate off over his head. “You don’t have to do everything on your own.” 

There was definitely a deeper message there, something that had been bugging under her skin for days now. Fjord paused laying the armour aside to scrutinize her face, a worried frown tugging at his lips. 

“Jester...” 

“Anyway!” She turned a beaming smile on him, one he could only now see was papering over some cracks. “Come and cuddle up, you big softie!” 

For a moment Fjord thought she was going to pick him up and carry him, panic not unlike Caduceus’ flashing across his face. But she’d already turned away, skipping back towards the bed. Worry flittered across next until his resolve firmed and he hurried after, reaching out to catch her hand. 

There wasn’t anything he could do if she didn’t want to talk about it. Wasn’t sure what he could say to make up for what even he knew had been his dumbass behaviour at sea. For putting them all in danger for nothing. Just his own selfishness. But when she looked back in mild surprise, he tried to say it all in his smile. 

“Thanks, Jester.” 

She might have been able to hear it anyway, because her smile softened a little and her hand curled around his, squeezing gently. 

“You’re welcome.” Then she turned back to the bed, tugging him along after her. “Shove up, suckers! We’re coming in!” 

** 

It was a while before anyone seriously considered leaving the tangle of limbs they’d made in the middle of the water bed. The gentle rocking was soothingly similar to the waves of the actual sea on the boat and it just felt... right. Coming back together and settling back into the tight knit group that had first come to the Lavish Chateau. 

Caduceus suggesting a long, hot bath in the spa had proved to be a sufficient catalyst. Rather than ordering hot water up, he and Jester filled the pool with their spells and Caleb helped them heat it. It probably took a little less time than lugging hot water up several flights of stairs, but not much. 

Nott filled the intervening time by sitting Yasha on the floor to braid flowers into her hair. Then Beau, against mild protest that quickly dissolved under Yasha’s regard. Fjord capitulated without hesitation, sliding into Beau’s spot as soon as she’d left it. 

Nott hesitated for a moment herself, frowning down at the top of his head. 

“You don’t have a whole lot of hair...” 

The half orc tipped his head back to give her a somewhat sheepish grin. 

“Whatever you wanna do. I trust you.” 

A deep green brow rose, scepticism etching its way across her face. 

“You’re being weird,” she declared bluntly, a sudden hint of wickedness shooting through her grin. “You’re usually more cautious.” 

Despite being upside down from her perspective, his smile was decidedly contrite. 

“Feels like I have a lot of making up to do. For all of you.” 

Nott considered him for a long moment, her eyes narrowing as she tracked every inch of his expression. All Fjord could do was wait, watching in return to see what she’d decide. 

Finally she shrugged, smiled, and stuck a flower into the front of his hair. 

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

It was a tacit forgiveness more than an explicit one, but then he and Nott had never really had the kind of relationship that relied on pretty words. She’d faced her greatest fear for him. Fjord settled back to let her work, a small smile curling his lips as he watched water slosh into the bath. 

It was more than he’d expected. 

**

By the time the bath was ready, Fjord’s head was pretty well covered in flowers and every vase in the room had been stripped. It sent Jester into a fit of giggles when she finally turned from her work to wave them all in. 

Caleb just shook his head, a fond smile curling his lips as he shrugged out of his coat. 

Caduceus was very disappointed to realise that they had no more flowers for him to get some too, but cheered up when Jester happily reminded him that they could just order more. She and Yasha tugged one of the large tables over to the bath while Beau ran downstairs for Nott to sit on and work on Caduceus’ hair. 

They were all in the water but the goblin when the monk returned, a large basket of cut flowers in hand. 

“Just grabbed a bunch from the back,” she informed them all, setting the basket on Nott’s table and shrugging out of her shirt to join them. 

Jester beamed happily, ripples spreading as she bounced in the water. 

“Oh! That’s a really good idea Beau! Can I have some too? And then we can do your hair Nott!” 

The goblin gave Caduceus a careful once over. She’d settled him in front of her table so she could at least begin braiding, and had managed to build a rather elaborate hair style. Plucking a soft pink flower from the basket, she began threading it through one of the tiny braids in the front. 

“We should have enough here for everyone,” she conceded, not quite looking up from her work, “I’ll do Caleb’s next and then you.” 

Caleb raised both hands above the water, actually rising enough that he could speak. He did tend to spend a lot of his time in the bath submerged to his nose. 

“That’s okay, I don’t mind...” 

“No,” Nott said flatly, not even glancing up. 

Jester clapped both her hands over her mouth to stifle her giggles, flopping back onto one of the raised seats around the rim of the bath. 

“No, no, Caleb, you go next! I’ll just need someone to entertain me in the meantime...” she batted her lashes at Fjord, grinning when his cheeks immediately flushed russet. Before he could comment, Beau splashed into the water, carefully at the furthest point of the tub from Nott. 

“Okay, that feels amazing,” the monk moaned loudly, twisting and flopping down onto her back and splashing half the circle. “We need more big baths.” 

“It’s not really somethin’ we could carry with us,” Fjord pointed out with a wry grin, shoving her shoulder when she floated too close. She raised a hand to flail back in his general direction, but let herself be tugged into a seat between Jester and Yasha. 

“So we’ll just go more places with baths. No big.” 

“We could!” Jester agreed brightly, shaking wet hair from her face and pulling Beau in to cuddle. “There’s the big bath house in Zadash too, we could go after we check in on Felderwyn?” 

“Sounds good,” Beau agreed, glancing in Nott’s direction. The rogue shrugged, maybe half paying attention as she decked Caduceus’ head in flowers. 

Finally pleased with her work she nodded and tapped him on the back of the head. 

“Caleb, your turn.” 

As Caduceus moved obediently out of the way, Caleb slipped into his spot, turning and tilting his head back to look up at his goblin mom. 

“I am a little shorter than Caduceus...” 

Indeed, his head was a full foot lower, more on level with the edge of the table than comfortably above it. Nott squinted down at him and poked the top of his head. 

“Should probably wash your hair too.” 

“We all should,” Beau pointed out with a wave of her hand, grinning. “We can do it after.” 

“Oooooh, but I want it to stay pretty!” Jester pouted, resting her chin on Beau’s shoulder. 

Fjord smiled and plucked a flower from his own hair, settling it gently behind her ear. 

“So keep this one until you wash up, and she can do yours after too.” 

Cheeks flushing faintly purple, Jester dunked both of her hands into the water. Shook off the moment of fluster. Grinned and leaned in to rest her chin on Fjord’s shoulder instead. 

“Awwww, but you look so pretty covered in flowers too! Nott worked reeeeeeally hard on them!” 

As Fjord’s cheeks tinged russet, Caleb shook his own head, chuckling softly. 

“She does recover quickly. Should I wash my hair now?” 

Nott shrugged from behind him, and Beau twisted in the water to examine one of the shell baskets along the side of the pool. 

“Seems to be mostly edible massage oil and lotion-y crap, but there’s a couple body washes. Couple different ones for hair too,” she reported, bringing a double fistful of small bottles back around with her, nodding to the others, “who wants what?” 

Instantly distracted from her game of feels chicken with Fjord, Jester splashed back the six inches of distance to snatch one of the vials. 

“I want the lavender! It smells like my mama,” her sigh was almost a purr as she brought the bottle to her nose to sniff, eyes closing as she drank in the scent. There was a moment of silence around the softness, none of the Nein quite wanting to break it. 

Then Caleb reached for a bottle at random, knocked three from Beau’s hands into the water, and the scrabble to retrieve them left the overall mood one of fond exasperation. 

There were just enough body washes for the Nein to take one each, and scent assignment became its own special kind of hell. There were technically masculine scents alongside the fruity and floral, but the names Jester recited had Beau sobbing with laughter. Especially because she dragged each one out into a perfect romance novel gush. 

No one wanted to admit they wanted to smell like Sea Spray On Musk. Dragon’s Ardour was another winner, but the soap itself had a distinctly cinnamon smell that Jester assigned to Caleb instantly. 

It was just a little spicy, and actually smelled pretty good until Jester purred the name. Caleb didn’t dare ask why that was his smell. 

Thunder Punch went to Beau without question, though she tried to pass it off on Yasha. The barbarian looked a little surprised, a little touched by the gesture, but then Jester pushed a wildflower number she swore was called Summer Valley Breeze into her hands. The light, floral scent won her over in a heartbeat, and Thunder Punch went back to Beau. 

Whatever punching thunder felt like, it smelled a little like mint and eucalyptus. As their expert opinion, Yasha managed to give a bemused shrug. 

“I don’t really know what the Storm Lord smells like,” she offered apologetically. 

Beau gave the soap another cautious sniff, shrugged, and began to scrub. 

“I’ll take it over the smell of fish and salt.” 

“And body odour,” Caleb added dryly, raising his own soapy hand briefly in a toast. Beau flipped him off pretty much on principle, just in case it was directed specifically at her. 

“So what’s Fjord gotta smell like?” Nott wondered, leaning closer on the edge of her table, but not far enough to risk falling in. 

Before anyone could speak, Fjord raised both hands. 

“Anything but sea spray. I need a break from the ocean.” 

Another soft, quiet moment stretched, a shared relief that they really were all in sync again; that Fjord was happy to walk away, to do something (anything) else for a while. That he wasn’t upset, or reluctant to walk away from what they’d started. 

Then Jester pulled a bottle at random from the pile. 

“Anything liiiiiiike... candied violets? Ooh this one is really nice, it’s one of my favourites, it’s very sweet and smells suuuuuuuper tasty!” She held out the bottle enthusiastically and Fjord gave it a cautious sniff. From his expression, he was a little surprised by what he found. 

“That... that’s pretty good. Are you sure it’s not too.......” he trailed off, trying to work out how to word the inquiry. 

“Feminine?” Beau offered, coming to the rescue like a good first mate should. Deeply confused, Jester looked from her friends to the bottle and back, then shrugged. 

“I mean... it’s not a perfume? None of them are gonna be super strong except the cinnamon?” 

Caleb paused mid wash, his face entirely deadpan. 

“Thank you for that,” he sighed dryly, sure that was the answer to the question he hadn’t wanted to ask. Jester sloshed across the tub to kiss his cheek, grinning. 

“You fill your pockets with bat shit, Cayyyyy-leb. And now you’ll smell super tasty and delicious, just like Fjord!” 

His cheeks flushing russet, the half orc stared resolutely at the ceiling. 

“I didn’t say I’d do the violets,” he muttered under his breath, not quite committing to arguing either. 

“I think you smell quite nice now, Fjord,” Caduceus mused with a soft smile, nodding to Jester. “Could I smell the violets?” 

“Sure!” Splashing as little as possible, Jester crossed the tub again to offer him the soap. Closing his eyes, Caduceus took a deep huff, a broad smile spreading across his face. 

“Oh. That’s. That’s really nice. I really like that. Could I use that one?” 

Fjord hesitated a moment, eyes staying on the bottle. It was a really nice smell... and he’d been ready to be talked into it, just to have something a little nice for himself. But if Caduceus was being so openly enthusiastic about it, and he’d already pushed back... 

Jester was watching him though, waiting for his say so, and he waved it off quickly. 

He roomed with Caduceus, and they’d probably all wind up in the water bed anyway. And there’d be another nice scent somewhere in the pile. 

A tiny voice in the back of his mind wondered if maybe he could just do what Caduceus had. Just... like something. And ask for it. No caring about how it might make him look. 

No one in the group was looking down on Caduceus as he accepted the light, floral scent and began scrubbing up, perfectly happy. 

His shoulders settled almost imperceptibly and he leaned forward to look at the rest of the scents in their now floating basket. 

“What else we got?” 

Jester leaned in with him, poking through the vials. 

“Well... if you don’t want a flower one, we have... Passionberry Punch, which is sort of fruity, or Yetifrost, which is hard to describe but it really doesn’t smell like fur? But I’ve never smelled a yeti. Or... we could go ask for more? We’ve got a bunch of oils and things as well if you don’t like any of the soaps.” 

Fjord sniffed both soaps slightly cautiously, not sure what to expect. The punch was... pungent, and almost obnoxiously sweet, and he was happy to be able to put it back and take the other. 

“This’ll do just fine, Jester, thank you. Why don’t you wash up now so Nott can do your hair?” 

“Are you sure you won’t bathe, Nott?” Caleb called, already rinsing out his own hair. “You could get the last of the sea water off you.” 

“The salt’s dry,” Nott shot back immediately, organizing her flowers from her seat on the table and not even looking up. 

“It’s real bad for your skin though,” Jester piped up, pausing with her lavender soap just opened. “What if we just use a wet cloth?” 

Nott hesitated for a moment, her gaze shifting from flowers to the dry, almost cracking skin of her fingers. Looking up, she narrowed her eyes at the group. 

“And I don’t have to go in the water?” 

“Just a damp cloth,” Beau agreed, looking around and tugging a towel from the nearby rack to dip in the bath water. Paused. “Maybe with some cleaner water though.” 

The water, while still hot, was... bubbly, soapy, full of petals, and kinda turning brown the more the Nein scrubbed. None of them had actually expected to be that dirty, spending so much time jaunting about at the bottom of the ocean, but apparently the ocean silt had gotten itself wedged in some cracks that the occasional wipe down aboard ship couldn’t reach. 

Rising from washing her own hair, Yasha noticed the rest staring at the water and glanced down. 

“Yeah... can we change the bath water?” 

Jester worried at her lower lip for a minute, glancing around the room. 

“We can drain the tub and refill it, but getting it hot again will take a while?” 

“What if you just do a little bit of clean water for Nott, and to do your hair?” Beau offered, looking around again for a bucket. 

“Just wash up real fast and we’ll all get out an’ cuddle on the bed,” Fjord decided, knocking flowers from his hair to begin to soap up. Jester hesitated a moment longer before nodding and holding her breath, dunking her whole head under water to wet her hair. 

“It’s all getting soapy anyway,” she said, half to herself, and began lathering up. 

Already done washing, Caleb hesitated half way through returning the little bottle of soap. Dirty or not, the water was still pretty warm, and he still had a fair few tense muscles. On the other hand, he was actually enjoying being clean again, if only for a little while. Finally he settled on getting out, stepping out of the tub and turning his gaze to Nott. 

“Shall I find you a little bucket or something?” 

“Find yourself a towel first,” Beau called, leaning out of the tub to snatch one from the rack before standing, “you’re gonna soak the floor! Oh shit these are warm.” 

About to come up with a snappy retort, Caleb tugged the towel out of her hands instead and pressed it to his face. It was distinctly heated, warm and glorious against his skin. Beau paused for a moment, clearly considering snatching it straight back, then pulled another from the rack. 

Things had been tense enough those last few days at sea. No point starting trouble on land too. 

And it gave her the chance to sate her curiosity. 

“The whole rack’s hot, Jess, what the fuck?” 

Unfortunately the tiefling’s ears were currently dipped back under the water as she rinsed out her hair. Taking it upon herself to solve the problem, Yasha reached into the cloud of blue hair and grabbed a horn, pulling one startled cleric back up. 

“Ah! Yasha! What!” Jester flailed to keep her balance, splashing water around the tub. Hissing like a cat, Nott dived beneath her table for safety. 

The rest of the Nein recoiled with various laughing protests directed at either of the women and Yasha settled Jester placidly into her seat... by the horn. 

“Beau wanted to ask you something,” she said by way of explanation, an entirely contented smile on her face the only sign that things had gone exactly as well as she’d expected. 

Jester was smiling as she turned expectantly to Beau so she clearly wasn’t upset by it. Unable to resist smiling back Beau shook her head. 

“Just wondering why the towel rail is hot. All the towels are warm.” 

The question seemed to wrong foot the tiefling for a moment and she paused, blinking slowly. 

“Yeah... I mean that is why? Warm towels are great!” 

For a long moment the two stared at each other, definitely not understanding but also not sure where things were going wrong. Not gonna argue that warm towels were great, though. Caleb actually managed to finish towelling off while they blanked out and returned his towel to the rack. 

“I believe Beauregard means how the towels are warm,” he told them lightly, glancing back at the tub and pulling another towel for Fjord when the half orc held out a hand. 

A metaphorical Light spell clicked on over Jester’s head and she beamed. 

“Oh! Yeah, there’s an enchantment on the rack, I think it’s something with evocation? Sort of like super mild Burning Hands without any hands. You could ask my Mama if you wanna know what spell, I don’t really know how it works,” she explained happily, rising and stepping out of the tub to pull her own towel and bury her face in it with a contented sigh. 

There was already a fair amount of little puddles spread across the floor around the bath and Beau pulled Caleb’s used towel back off the rack to toss it on the floor. 

“Careful Jes, this is gonna get really slippery...” she poked the towel around with her foot, trying to get more of the water and stepping onto it. 

Already industriously rubbing herself dry, Jester waved a cheerful hand in Beau’s direction. 

“You’ve got it! Who else needs a towel?” 

While the remaining bath water wasn’t ~exactly~ a visibly dingy grey, it was unappealing enough that the rest of the Nein took the offer to get out. Towels were duly handed round and the plug removed to let whatever water was left drain away. A small bucket was filled for Nott, who did manage a fairly thorough scrub between that and a cloth. 

“What if we just go to Pumat Sol’s when we get back to Zadash,” the goblin grumbled, vigorously rubbing under her armpits. 

“That’s at least two weeks away,” Caleb pointed out quietly. The wizard had taken a minute in all the kerfuffle to get a closer look at the towel rail while the others dried off and spread throughout the room, leaving him close to where Nott scrubbed. “Do you want to smell of the sea for two weeks?” 

“More like dead fish after two weeks,” Fjord teased as he wandered by, arms full of used towels. 

Nobody seemed to be worried about clothes yet; it was entirely possible that none of them had anything to wear that wasn’t salt stained. Probably why Jester had excused herself, although if it wasn’t someone would have to ask about laundry. 

Nott stuck her tongue out at Fjord’s ass as he bent to grab Beau’s floor towel and contemplated tossing her wash cloth at his head. 

Or his ass. Prime target. 

But then he’d already straightened, so she just groused and went back to scrubbing. 

“Dead fish would be an improvement, I’m STILL digging out sludge from that sunken fucking temple!” 

“That sludge is probably also dead fish,” Caleb noted with a small smile, nodding his thanks to Fjord. 

“One form or another,” the half orc agreed with a smile in return and took his pile of towels back to the door. A pile of clothes soon materialised beside it (mostly from Caduceus’ efforts). Just as he was piling things up a few quick kicks to the door heralded Jester’s arrival, her arms full of clean dresses, nightshirts, and for some reason a bowtie. 

“I’ve got clean clothes for everyone,” she called happily as she spun into the room, nodding her thanks to Caduceus, “it might not fit real good but it’ll do for the night!” 

“And here I thought we’d be using the fetish closet,” Beau snickered, her gaze falling back on the stylish wooden wardrobe. She’d planted herself pretty much right across from it, back on the water bed with Yasha. Something about the gently rocking surface appealed after so long on the actual sea. 

And the naked Yasha didn’t hurt. 

Even Caduceus rejoining them on the bed did nothing to lessen the fun as the whole thing dipped and swayed in response to his weight. He hadn’t actually bothered to take any of the stack of clothing, so Jester followed cheerfully and dumped the whole pile on top of him to begin to sort it. 

“I doooon’t quite have anything that will fit you, Yasha, or Caduceus or Fjord, but Mama said I could borrow some from the other workers and it should kinda work? Or you can just hang around naked until morning when all our clothes will be clean!” 

Beau rolled semireluctantly over to the cleric pile as Jester pulled a few shirts out, held them up, and nodded her approval before putting them back down. Seeing the monk approach she paused and grinned, leaning down to smooch the tip of her nose. 

“I didn’t know if you’d want a dress Beau, but I brought some pyjamas as well just in case.” Pyjamas she promptly dropped directly onto the monk’s face. 

Unable to hide a smile, Beau pulled them off and rolled to sit up, legs crossed. She was already getting used to the motion of the bed as it dipped and swayed under her. Yasha was a little less confident, bootyscooching her way carefully to the end of the bed to join them. 

“I would be alright with a nightshirt,” the barbarian offered, curious eyes fixed on the pile of clothing. 

They all couldn’t help wondering just what kind of clothing Jester might have borrowed from a place like the Chateau... and of course, Caleb noticed something rather important. 

“I did not hear my name,” he pointed out somewhat warily, approaching the bed. Jester shot him a cheerful grin. 

“I figure you’ll fit in some of my stuff, and I’ve got some leggings and pants and things if you want more than a nightshirt too,” she told him happily, less folding the clothes she was sorting and more dumping them into smaller, but equally disorderly piles. Something frilled and lacy was quickly tossed into a pile and Caleb was sorely tempted to grab it. 

Just for shits and giggles. 

Maybe wear it if Fjord blushed. 

But Jester had already pulled out a plain white cotton nightshirt and thrust it at Yasha with a pleased chirp, and was back in the pile. Another, smaller nightshirt emerged and she turned to Caleb, beaming. 

“I know it’s not like, your aesthetic, but we can have your clothes cleaned before you have to go out. Orrrrr we can stay naaaaaked~” she teased, batting her lashes and waving the shirt. 

Fighting a smile, Caleb took it and raised it in Beauregard’s direction. 

“For your sake,” he told her solemnly. Beau snorted a laugh, shimmying pyjama pants up her hips. 

“Appreciated,” she shot back with a grin, laying back as the bed rocked from her movements. It was enough to almost topple Caduceus but the firbolg was surprisingly good at just going with the movements and keeping his balance. 

Yasha was a little less prepared, most of her attention on the nightshirt she’d been given. It wasn’t exactly a large wave, not compared to when Caduceus had joined them, but the sharp, jerky ripples caught her off guard enough to spill her awkwardly onto her back. 

Stifling giggles, Jester caught one of her flailing feet to help stabilize the barbarian. 

“I think that just leaves Fjord, Caduceus, and Nott,” she declared brightly, looking around the room to check she wasn’t missing anyone. The green duo had made their way a little more leisurely to the bed, Nott scrambling on at once while Fjord moved to check over the clothing piles. 

One nightshirt could only possibly be for Caduceus; it must have belonged to Bluud, it would be a tent even on Yasha. For a moment Fjord had thought it was actually three items of clothing. Picking it up left him frankly speechless when the shirt just... kept coming. 

Noticing his confusion, Jester giggled and nodded towards Caduceus. 

“That’s actually Bluud’s, but he said you can have it while we’re here, Caduuuuuceus! It’s definitely gonna be long enough!” 

“And wide enough for three of him,” Fjord muttered in disbelief, holding out the nightshirt to the firbolg. Caduceus took it and held it out for examination, a slight smile on his face as he shook it out. 

“This’ll do just fine, thank you Jester.” He finally nodded, actually standing from the bed to put it on. Hesitated. Towel dried but not brushed yet, his fur was bunched into damp, disorderly clumps and matted from the bath. “Maybe... could someone help with my brushes first?” 

There was a short pause; usually it was Jester, Caleb, or Beau who’d help him out after a dip, or an adventure underwater. They’d formed a kind of hair club onboard ship, maintaining undercuts and having cleric time and just... taking care of each other. 

It was entirely conceivable that Fjord and Nott hadn’t noticed that knotting wet fur was a problem until it was brought up here. 

Caleb cleared his throat, glancing around the room for Caduceus’ pack. 

“Ja... where are they?” He asked, trying to remember if he’d actually seen them. 

Before Caduceus could answer, Jester perked up, clapping her hands and bouncing onto her toes. 

“Oh! Oh! Caduceus! We can get Mama’s special dryer and make you all fluffy again!” 

The firbolg perked up as well, a broad smile stretching across his face.

“Yeah... that sounds nice,” he agreed slowly, setting the nightshirt back on the bed. It wasn’t like he was remotely concerned about nudity. 

A broad smile was edging its way across Fjord’s face too, fond and somewhat nostalgic. 

“Are we about to learn how you turned him into a puffball the last time we were here?” He asked somewhat redundantly as Jester disappeared through the door once more. 

Beau was grinning from ear to ear, rolling from the bed to pass Caleb and grab Caduceus’ bag for him. She’d been part of the original experiment. Hair club. 

“Fuck yeah! It’s actually really cool, Caleb, you might wanna try it for your hair,” she added, giving the wizard a gentle nudge as she passed, nodding to his long, damp locks. 

He certainly looked intrigued, regrouping with the others back at the water bed to wait for Jester’s return. 

They all remembered their first night at the Lavish Chateau; seeing Marion Lavorre sing, Jester’s home turf, the fucking decadence of the rooms.... and Jester, Beau, and Caduceus’ bath time that had ended with one disturbed monk and one extremely fluffed, blow dried firbolg. Asking exactly how the fuck it had happened had gotten lost in amongst all the other adventures of the night. 

Not much point asking Beau how what was presumably an enchanted object worked though. Not when Hurricane Jester would almost certainly be back through with it in a matter of moments. 

And sure enough, here she came, bearing an ornate red box and a broad grin. 

“Here we go! Mama says we can use it so long as we get it back to her tomorrow morning!” 

Brushes now in hand, Caduceus nodded happily while the other men tried to be discrete in their stares. New magic was a fairly reliable lure. Nott scrambled up onto the bed, frowning at the box in Jester’s hands. 

“What does it do?” She’d seen the end results, but how exactly one turned a normally finely furred firbolg into a fluffy cushion man... well, in a magical world it could be any number of ways. 

As she approached Jester waved the others back so that she could crawl onto the bed too, tossing the lovely box aside like it was nothing and holding up a small fan. 

“I’m not really sure how it works, but I think it’s a kind of Prestidigitation? It makes a hot wind that you can use to dry your hair and give it volume and stuff. It feels reeeeally nice too, especially in the winter when it’s cold out but it’s mostly just focused on a small area so you can’t really do your whole body,” she explained cheerfully, holding the fan delicately and flaring it open to show a picture of warm, pink and orange flowers. 

Caleb’s fingers were almost itching to examine it, eyes travelling back to the bag pile where his books were sat. It wasn’t hard to guess what he was thinking. Jester flicked the fan at him with a grin, sending a gust of hot air that blew his hair back. 

It was actually pretty nice. 

“You can have a look after we’re finished with Caduceus,” she teased, already shuffling closer to the firbolg and pausing, frowning. “You might need to stand up for us to get your legs?” Caduceus stood obediently, paused, and glanced back at the sheets. 

“Those might be a little damp...” he mused thoughtfully, a slight furrow in his brow. He wasn’t sure the Chateau would change them easily, but he wasn’t particularly inclined to go and ask. 

Jester shrugged cheerfully and crawled directly across the patch, patting it with arms and knees. 

“It’s fine, we can give it a blast with the fan before we go to bed if it’s still wet. Beau, do you have his brushes?” 

The monk glanced around quickly and snatched the fine wooden backed brushes, following Jester over to the edge of the bed beside Caduceus. 

“Yeah, I’ve got ‘em. Should we start with your arms or your legs, Cad?” She asked, offering a brush to Jester, who took it easily. They’d done this before, if only once, and frankly... it had taken long enough for them to get something of a rhythm down. 

Brushing him down without the enchanted fan had somehow managed to take longer, damp matting his fur thickly with crusted salt. Being properly clean was a fucking blessing. 

Lost in thought, it took Caduceus a moment to realise that both women were watching him and waiting for an answer. He managed a smile, revelling in the sensation of being properly clean again. 

“Arms first, I think. That way nothing will drip down on my legs as they dry.” 

Fjord nudged himself to the edge of the bed as Beau and Jester got to work on the firbolg’s left arm. Partially just for a better view, partially to see if he could help. 

“Do you have more brushes?” He asked, a brow raising as he glanced up at the firbolg. Before Caduceus could answer, Jester piped up, 

“It wouldn’t make so much difference, Fjord, we only have the one fan. The fur will just get all clumped again when we dry it.” 

“It could speed up the brushing,” Caleb mused thoughtfully, still watching the fan with the same hunger he always showed at new magic. 

Caduceus was more inclined to agree with Jester, but at least they’d managed to soak the salt out of his fur without tugging his skin raw. A little inexperienced brushing couldn’t hurt. 

He was maybe just a little bit enjoying the attention. A chance to be fussed over, taken care of, after all those long weeks at sea. Something he hadn’t had in... so, so long. Since his mother left the Blooming Grove. 

After so many years alone, tending to the dead and those in mourning, it had become second nature to put his own needs aside. To focus his energies on taking care of others instead of thinking about his own problems. It was what had made that interminable wait bearable. 

Burying himself in everyone else. 

It was second nature by the time the Mighty Nein had found him, and they’d sorely needed it. They didn’t need a lost, scared boy who missed his family. They needed a fighter, a healer, someone to support and help them get their friends back. 

A perfect fit. 

And oh, they were the perfect group for a man who didn’t want to face his own issues. They were a walking, talking mass of issues, all seeming so much easier to solve than his own. 

Well, all but Jester. He still had no idea just what made that one tick. It didn’t seem to matter though, because she was happy and bubbly and that had to mean she was coping well. 

He didn’t like to think about what he needed, but this... pampering, a gentle brushing while his friends joked and laughed around him, sounded perfect. Just so long as he didn’t cry. 

So he gave Fjord a smile, nodding across at the same bag Beau had grabbed the brushes from. 

“I have one more, but it’s a small one. If you don’t mind?” 

From the broad grin the half orc gave him as he rolled off the bed, he more than didn’t mind. He rooted around in the bag while Jester and Beau worked on his other arm. They’d gotten fast in the brushing at sea and the fan was glorious, hot as it ruffled his fur like a wind from the Wildmother. 

Fjord looked just a little concerned as he returned from the bag with the smallest brush. It wasn’t much larger than Caduceus’ finger, which was almost as thick as two of Fjord’s honestly, but it was rather small. 

Caduceus shrugged and smiled at him. 

“It’s usually for my ears.” 

The half orc’s gaze flicked immediately up to the ears in question and his mouth formed a small “o” of understanding. Then he held the brush out to Jester. 

“Should we switch? That way you can do the detail work while I get Deuces’ back sorted.” 

The tiefling glanced over, grinned, and tossed him her brush. 

“Sure! And then when you’re done you can loop back around or give me the brush back and brush out the dry fur!” Hopping up onto the bench beside him, up on her tiptoes, she patted Caduceus on the head. “We’ll get you all taken care of,” she said so softly Caduceus had to wonder what she’d seen. 

Then she paused and patted his hair again. Even before she spoke, Caleb rose from the bed. 

“I will get my hair brush.” 

Caduceus’ cheeks flushed under his fur, but he couldn’t stop smiling. It was... sweet. The group still wasn’t much good about actually talking about their issues, but they’d come together apparently without effort when a task came up. 

Nott sighed dramatically, walking across the water bed to frown at his hair. 

“I’ll need to redo your flowers,” she told him sternly, though it wasn’t much of a surprise. The bath was still littered with the soaked remains of the ones from before the hair washing. 

Yasha perked up immediately at the words. The only one currently without a grooming related job, this fell right into her wheelhouse. 

“I could fetch us some more?” She offered softly, tugging at the pyjamas Jester had fetched her and looking at the door. 

Nott gave Caduceus a critical once over, then looked around the rest of the group. 

“I’ll come with you,” she decided, jumping down and running across the room, “we’re going to need a whole lot, and they’re gonna be a while.” 

Yasha nodded and followed, giving the others a small smile. Beau hesitated for a moment, clearly torn between brushing and going to help, or at least giving directions. It had reminded Caduceus of something else though. 

“We could also do your undercut again if you like, Miss Beau? Since we’re making ourselves presentable.” 

The monk flinched and Jester burst into giggles, back at his elbow with her fan and Fjord’s brush. Warlock and wizard both gave her strange looks. 

“What’s wrong with the undercut?” Fjord wondered, dragging the brush carefully down the clumped fur of Caduceus’ back. It definitely wasn’t as bad as it’d been immediately after a dip in the ocean, but it had been a while since he’d had time to groom properly. 

It was an entirely new experience for the half orc, but honestly a pleasant one. The repetitive motion was soothing and Caduceus’ fur was surprisingly soft freshly brush, even when damp. The fluffing that occurred with the fan only made it better. 

Kinda made him wish he had his own fur to brush. It was... an odd sensation. 

Beau grimaced and shook her head, keeping up the slow, gentle brushing. 

“It’s the bugs, man. The bugs do the undercut,” she explained bluntly, not wanting anyone else to be taken by surprise the same way she had been. Though.... 

A hand rose absently to stroke through her hair. It was definitely getting a little shaggy. And one of the bugs hadn’t been the worst thing in the world. And she fucking hated trying to cut the damn thing herself. 

“It might be better not all at once?” Jester offered like she’d been reading her mind. 

Beau hesitated a moment longer, arguing with herself. Eventually giving in. 

Heaving a sigh she nodded and made a face. 

“Maybe like... just a couple of them?” She asked Caduceus, already half flinched in preparation. 

Caleb paused, his hair brush raised, and took a step back. 

“Will you be doing yours too?” He asked somewhat warily. He wasn’t sure how much it would interfere with his chosen task. 

Caduceus frowned thoughtfully, his dry hand rising to tug slowly through his hand and stroke across his undercut. Like Beau’s, it was beginning to get shaggy. Unlike Beau’s, tangles all but fell from the rest of his hair as his fingers slid through it. The monk couldn’t help an envious frown. 

“I suppose I could do mine too,” he agreed with a slight smile, nodding towards his staff, “if you wouldn’t mind?” 

Caleb nodded and went for the staff. Caduceus went to raise his other hand and tie his hair back, but was stopped when Beau tapped him on the elbow with her brush. 

“I’ll get it, you hold still and let Jester keep going. No reason to stop the pampering, right?” 

She did have a point. Even if he wasn’t quite comfortable sitting still and letting things be done for him, it was a nice discomfort. So he nodded and held his arm back out for Jester and let Beau gather his hair to the top of his head and tie it into a messy bun. 

To her credit, she paid it more attention than she did tying back her own, and it was mostly neat. Neat enough for the beetles to be able to do their work anyway, and that was all that mattered. 

The staff was quickly retrieved, Caleb watching with a mix of interest and trepidation. He could certainly imagine several ways the bugs might be responsible for hair cuts. None of them were particularly appealing. 

Caduceus received it with a smile and a nod, tapping it gently on the ground to summon the swarm. The rest of the Nein recoiled on instinct, all now painfully familiar with just how dangerous the beetles could be. But they just... settled obediently onto Caduceus’ arms and shoulders. Waiting. 

The firbolg smiled fondly at them, gesturing to his and Beau’s heads. 

“Just some maintenance, please. Maybe one or two of you could start on Miss Beau?” 

With a buzzing of wings the swarm rose, the majority landing around the base of Caduceus’ skull while a couple flew towards the monk. Resisting the urge to snatch them from the air was a physical effort, but she managed it. 

Beau grimaced as tiny little feet landed on her head, but... yeah. Two was kinda manageable. She still had to focus not to swat as they settled in and began to chew, but it hadn’t locked up every inch of her spine like it had the previous time. Her shoulders even began to relax as the bugs munched through shaggy hair. 

“Okay... that’s not so bad.” 

Of course, with the attentions of the full swarm Caduceus was finished in under a minute. But Beau remembered the last time, and everything else that came with so many clacking, chittering beetles pretty much right in her ears. She was happy to wait a while longer to avoid that. 

She could even go back to brushing, along with everyone but Caleb, who wasn’t getting anywhere near the rest of Caduceus’ hair just yet. Muck and blood and insects might not have bothered him to touch, but he didn’t want to risk crushing one of their little friends. And after all, they were done in under a minute, and swarmed obediently back into the staff. 

The wizard paused a moment before taking the rest of Caduceus’ hair down to run his fingers through the freshly buzzed undercut. 

“That is... remarkably efficient,” he noted with a slight smile. Familiar with his tastes, the insects had managed a perfectly even trim to exactly how Caduceus liked his hair. 

Fjord grimaced but reached up to touch as well. 

“It’s certainly unique,” he muttered, fingers stroking slowly through short hair. Jester gasped happily, effortlessly flicking her fan to begin drying Caduceus’ back. 

“Oh, Caleb! I bet they could do your beard, and then you wouldn’t have to ask Yasha!” 

Caleb’s expression froze like there were already bugs crawling across his lips. Already pale, he grew almost light enough to rival Yasha herself. With a strained expression he managed to shake his head very, very quickly the second Caduceus began to turn, clearly about to offer. 

“No! No, I think I will be fine. It grows back too fast to be worth it anyway, I would be stubbly again by morning.” 

“We could do it every day,” Jester said with just a hint too much innocence to be believed. 

Caleb levelled a glare at her. 

“I believe we are pampering our good friend Mister Clay now,” he said pointedly, taking out the messy bun Beau had made and readying his brush. 

Jester snickered but let it drop, efficiently drying her way down Caduceus’ spine. 

In the meantime Fjord had finished working the clumps from Caduceus’ other arm and wasn’t quite sure where to go next. The firbolg was sitting, so legs weren’t exactly an easy option, and it was getting fucking crowded as Beau, Jester, and Caleb all negotiated their way around his back. 

Trying not to laugh, Caduceus hooked an arm around him and pulled him in between spread legs.

“You can just stop if you like, Mister Fjord,” he said fondly, his arm now resting just around his waist. 

Half orc cheeks blushed a muddy russet and Fjord shook his head, hands resting on soft thighs. 

“Nah... I said I was gonna help. I could do your legs? Or your stomach maybe?” 

Caduceus shrugged, causing a whole spate of swearing from the three behind, and chuckled softly. 

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to get my stomach done too. It’s getting all folded with me sitting all hunched up like this.” 

“That’s because you’re too tall,” Jester put in cheerfully, an intentionally errant flap of her fan sending all Caduceus’ hair spilling away from Caleb’s brush. The wizard bopped her gently on the head and she snickered, getting back to work. 

Not bothered by any of it, Caduceus shrugged happily and straightened up to give Fjord better access to his stomach. 

“Or you’re all too small,” he pointed out placidly. Fjord grinned and stepped in, bringing the brush up to start at his shoulders. He still had a pretty easy reach, but Jester and Beau both complained loudly. 

“Caleb could Enlarge us all,” he suggested, tipping the wizard a wink. Caleb’s cheeks flushed just a little, other possibilities of that spell fresh in his mind. 

“Or Reduce Caduceus,” Beau retorted with a roll of her eyes. Only to be promptly bopped by Jester. 

“No! If he gets smaller he’ll be less fluffy!” 

Fjord and Caleb each took a moment to examine Caduceus’ fluffed arm, which he obediently held out for their perusal. Prodding a finger into the fluff, Fjord lost it past the first knuckle. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head. 

“I’m never gonna get over that.” 

Caduceus chuckled softly, bringing his other arm around to stroke slowly through his own fluffed fur. He wasn’t quite over it either, though it was only the second time they’d done it. Perhaps if they had their own version of the fan, did it more often, he might one day take it for granted. 

It was such a production, at least a two person job if he wanted to get his whole back. He couldn’t imagine being able to do it that often. Especially with the cuddles that always followed promptly after finishing. 

After a decade or more alone, he couldn’t imagine any kind of cuddles getting old. 

Fjord was making short work of his chest, though it tickled more as he got down to his stomach and Caduceus had to make an effort not to move. The ladies had finished his back and left it to Caleb, now working on the arm Fjord had already brushed for them. 

It did seem to be speeding things up at least a little... which was kind of expected now that it was a four person operation. Compared to the giggling, nudging, close brushing of his fur, the larger brush Caleb was running through his hair felt like a soothing waterfall. 

The human was enjoying it too. The chance to lavish attention on those who did so much for him on a daily basis. Who he knew had been having a particularly rough time on their recent voyage. 

He’d privately been worried that Caduceus had regretted leaving the safety of his grove to travel with them. Privately sure the firbolg would declare none of them worth it and leave. It was a fear they’d all had at one time or another, though only Jester had spoken to him about it. 

Taking the time to pamper him now was... not compensation, exactly? It certainly couldn’t make up for nearly drowning so many times. But it was... a reminder. A reminder of why they took such risks, went to such lengths, and stayed together. There was a bond between the Mighty Nein. 

Being able to indulge such a sweet, soft side of it was a rare gift. 

By the time Yasha and Nott returned with what must have been at least six feet of cut flowers, Fjord was finishing Caduceus’ last leg while Beau and Jester chased down the other. They were intent on catching up, Fjord just as intent on taking his time and making it a pleasurable experience. 

Caduceus felt rather pleasantly like a stuffed doll. His hair was long since smoothed and brushed, and with no distractions Caleb had taken the initiative to play with it himself. Not quite the same level of intricacy of Nott’s loops and spirals, but pretty, simple braids that the flowers could be slotted into. 

He’d had to pause a while as Caduceus stood for them to brush his butt, but they’d switched to just stretching his legs out for the rest. It was a little easier for Jester and Beau, a little easier for Fjord, and maybe the firbolg had been getting just a little nicely boneless. 

Nott sped across the room to inspect Caleb’s work, tossing a bundle of flowers twice her size onto the bed and bouncing straight up onto the bench. Caduceus did his best to stay still as she bent his head back and forth and around to see what Caleb had done. 

She was only distracted when Jester gave her a quick swat on the butt with her brush. 

“You guys were gone forever! What took so long?” 

“We had to go to the florist,” Yasha explained with a slight smile, setting her own armful of flowers down on the bed. “They were not happy to open so late but we bought most of what they had and that helped.” 

“Got enough there to paper the walls,” Fjord noted with a soft chuckle, and this time Yasha properly grinned at him. 

“Enough for the entire Chateau,” she agreed, taking a moment to survey the flowers before pulling a small, vibrantly purple one from the pile and folding it into her book. 

And then she properly looked at Caduceus. 

She hadn’t been with them that first night in Nicodranas; they’d caught her at one of the bars the next day, by which time the firbolg’s fluff had toned down to a manageable level. Seeing him now, twice his usual size and plush as anything, she startled the room by clapping a hand over her mouth. 

It did absolutely nothing to stifle the giggles now wracking her body. 

“Ca... Caduceus,” she gasped, sinking to sit on the bed and just stare at him, still giggling, “what have they done to you?” 

Caduceus grinned back at her, raising a plush hand to wave. 

“Cool, right? It helps me dry out faster too.” 

Yasha reached out then hesitated, looking to him for permission. 

“May I... touch it?” 

Before Caduceus had a chance to answer Jester had wrapped both arms around him, squeezing tightly and lifting him a little from the bench. Fjord and Beau complained together and Caduceus let out a startled laugh, clutching at her shoulders for balance. 

“He feels so cool, Yasha! It’s awesome!” She declared happily, setting him carefully back down and snatching up her fan again. “We’re nearly done too Caddy, then you can go and move around and stuff.” 

In all honesty, he was a little sad to hear it, but he covered it with a soft smile. And received a quick bop on the head from Nott. 

“No he can’t! I’ve not finished his flowers yet!” She refuted sharply, giving Jester a bop on the nose too when the tiefling turned to her. 

Settling back into place, Caduceus automatically crossed one leg over the other, setting off another slew of complaints. Beau caught his ankle and tugged it back, fighting a grin as they straightened his legs back out. 

It was so much like being at home, fucking with Calliope while she tried to make he and Clarabelle look presentable for whatever reason. So much like being at home. Being with family. 

Caduceus found himself choking up, throat tight with stifled sobs as he sat with them fussing around him. No one seemed to notice, chatting and bickering among themselves. Just a soft, gentle wave of noise that he didn’t feel he needed to contribute to or really listen to. 

He let them move him where they wanted, just... basking in their presence. The business, the noise, so many things he just didn’t understand, it was all worth it to not be alone. 

They might have spoken to him a couple times, brief dips in the noise that were soon filled. No one pressed him. It brought another wave of relief to not have to speak. 

Caduceus didn’t think he could explain why he was so choked up just over the bickering. Not in a way Beau’d understand without immediately feeling guilty. He just sat for a while, a rock in their stream as the brushing ended and Nott, Caleb, and Yasha took over filling his hair with flowers once more. 

At least, until Nott declared the other two were disrupting her vision and banished them back to the bed. Caleb went easily, hands raised in unequivocal surrender and a smile tugging at his lips. For a moment it seemed Yasha would argue. 

Then she dropped a kiss to green goblin hair and went as well, smiling into the pile of flowers while Nott went to work. 

It was an even more elaborate display than the goblin had managed before the bath and for a full second Caduceus didn’t recognize himself when they dropped him in front of the mirror. Buying out the flower shop had included armfuls of strange tropical flowers, one actually larger than his face, with widespread triangular petals in vibrant orange and pink. 

He looked more like a flower stand than a person, but once he realized what he was looking at he couldn’t help laughing. It was bold, colourful, and beautiful in a way he couldn’t fully explain but reminded him of Clarabelle. 

They would fit together so well, his old family and his new, and he could see it so starkly in this moment he felt his heart would burst. And on the heels of that joy was that same hollow ache that had hounded him throughout the seasons. 

This time though he fought it back. Helped by Jester’s delighted laugh, her arms wrapping around his shoulders to squeeze him tightly. By Beau’s muffled snickers as she watched what they’d done. By the reflection of a preening little goblin girl stood at his side. 

He wasn’t alone, not anymore. No matter what had become of his old family, he would find them on this journey, and he would finish their mission. With a new family at his side. 

And a head full of the strangest, most vibrant flowers he’d ever seen. Yasha had dropped into his place the second he’d risen, having spent the time Caduceus was being styled sorting flowers with Beau and Jester. She had quite the selection ready and Nott was more than happy to help. 

Jester was busily weaving the long stemmed flowers into crowns, probably correctly assuming that they had more there than could ever be put into hair. Besides, it meant she could help. She settled her first completed crown carefully onto Nott’s head and grinned at the little goblin. 

“There! Now you’re all pretty while you make us pretty!” 

Nott paused for just a moment, tipping her head back like she’d be able to see the top of it herself. Caduceus helpfully turned the mirror to where she could see it and she leaned in to examine it. She gave a happy nod, turning to give Jester a broad grin, fingers already back to weaving flowers through Yasha’s hair. 

“It looks great! Thanks.” 

“Perhaps I could have one like that?” Caleb suggested softly. He’d taken a spot on the bed as well, books in his lap as he worked to Identify the fan. His hair was still damp, so he’d not bothered to try it on himself before getting to work. 

Nott barely even glanced at him. 

“No.” 

He must have been expecting it on some level, a slight smile curling across his lips as he got back to work on the fan. Jester giggled and ruffled his hair with her tail, already sorting through the mountain of flowers for more with stems. 

“I’ll make you a flower crown Caleb,” she declared happily, plucking out a large orange flower and getting to work. 

Beau glanced up as Caduceus approached the bed, her lips tugging into a broad grin. He just looked so... poofy. Like a giant teddy bear dipped in a flower shop. 

“That’s gotta feel really fuckin’ weird,” she noted conversationally, shifting aside to give him a place to sit and then rolling back to tuck up against plush fur. 

Caduceus shrugged, a slight smile tugging at his lips as he pressed his hand to the fluff on his thigh and let it spring back. 

“It’s strange, but not in a bad way. I had fur like this when I was a kid.” 

Beau’s eyes widened but anything she could have said was lost in Jester’s squeal of delight as she spilled herself back into his lap. 

“CA-duceus! You never said you were all tiny and fluffy! That’s so cute!” She exclaimed happily, burying her face in the soft fur of his leg. 

The firbolg chuckled softly, one arm slipping around Beau, the other around Jester. There didn’t seem to be much point in going for a nightshirt. 

“It was usually right after my winter fur came in,” he explained, a slight smile on his face as he cast his mind back. That had been a very long time ago. 

Stifling his own grin at the idea, Fjord sidled around the bed to sit on Caduceus’ other side, lifting Jester’s feet to make space for himself. 

“That must’ve been quite a sight,” he remarked, leaning in to nudge his shoulder to Caduceus’. Jester kicked her legs across his lap, clearly not planning on moving any time soon. 

It was pretty much the same thing that had happened last time; the extra fluff seemed to bring with it its own gravity. The other Nein were ostensibly still doing their own thing, but they all moved towards him until they were touching. 

Caduceus certainly wasn’t going to complain, and nor was anyone else. Nott made her way through the lot of them again, happily filling everyones’ hair with flowers while those she’d already done joined the Clay cuddle pile. 

Beau was loathe to lose her spot in the middle just to have flowers put in her hair, but Caduceus promised to hold it for her and that was enough. Jester just jumped on the lot of them and wriggled until she had a position she was happy with, thoroughly tangled together. In the end, they all just... lay together. 

Rested. 

Relished in the feeling of safety that came with being away from Avantika, from Uk’otoa, from the sea and back in safe harbour. The Lavish Chateau was a beautiful place for so many reasons, but this room was going to be a hard favourite. The bed was big enough for all seven of them, even if they stopped clumping around one very fluffy firbolg. 

Conversation wandered from their travels, their adventures, to the things they still wanted to see. Topping being pirates for a whole 16 hours was going to be tough but Beau already had a few ideas. 

Things took a more serious turn with their plans for the future. The memory of the war slipping closer to home for two of their number was sobering, but less bleak than it had seemed. It didn’t seem like anything too bad could happen on the silk swathed water bed, gently undulating beneath them as they moved. 

Finally parting enough to sleep was a reluctant affair, no one particularly happy to split up. Jester banked the lights with her thaumaturgy and as darkness fell, minor squabbles over the ridiculously large blanket fell with it as they all settled. 

It had been a long, hard journey. No one had walked away unscathed. But they’d all walked away. They were safe, they were together, and that was close enough to home. 

As sleep began to claim the group, Fjord spoke up. 

“This fucking bed is making me seasick.” 

Beau shoved him off the edge. 

**Author's Note:**

> HK: Finally! This was actually the Fluff Your Firbolgs I started first, but chronology got to me. But it’s done! Hooray! Now for some shorter literal fluff.


End file.
